Wanna Get Big

The Angry Coach dishes out some RULES OF TRAINING FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GET BIG.

Edit that - Get Massive!

NUTRITION

Drink an extra 2 litres of milk a day. You will get massive. Milk is God. Drink it whole. Nuff said.

WORKOUT

Go to the gym and do some Squats, do some Deadlifts, do some Barbell Presses. Every second you spend doing leg curls and cable flyes you are getting smaller. I don’t care what workout you do, if you do the big 3 hard and heavy and are not cheating yourself then it doesn't matter what sets, reps or rest intervals you do. It doesn't matter how many times a week you train. All that matters is consistency.

CONSISTENCY

Everyone wants to be big and strong and no one wants to train. They train when they feel like it. Sometimes they even put in a good solid 4 week block. Woopty Do! Then they are hungover and can’t train, then they have exams and can’t train, then they go on holiday and can’t train, then they cant be bothered and can’t train. If people call you obsessed for wanting to train all the time tell them to take a hike! You are training for an hour or two, 3 or 4 times a week, they watch more TV, then play xbox, then peep Facebook; for hours on end! Obsessed is what the weak call the dedicated!

NO EXCUSES - MAKE TIME TO TRAIN

You make time to eat, you make time to sleep, you can make time to train! Don’t lie in bed contemplating. You need 90 minutes. Get there train 45-60mins then get out, shower and your done. There is never “not enough time” there is only “not enough will”. Have a time in the day for gym, when that time arrives; go to the gym, its gym time. You go to work at work time and you go to school at school time, so go to gym at gym time. If something comes up, tell them you can’t talk now, its gym time & leave ur phone in the locker! You don’t run an hour late for work just because your favourite TV show comes on!

SCULPTING

Don’t worry about the minute shape of your muscles. Don’t try to improve your upper pec. Don’t try to sculpt the outer head of your biceps. Don’t try to get your rear delts up a bit. Pro Body Builders do this, they weigh 300lbs and if their right pec is slightly smaller, they lose money. You weigh a buck fifty – pounds!  And no one gives a fruitloop about your right pec. There are more important things to think about, like actually getting some pecs to sculpt!

BARBELLS

A simple rule: If your not using the Power Bar or Olympic Bar for EVERY workout then you are doing it wrong. If your leg session includes anything but a squat or dead variation then you are doomed to fail. If you think a machine gives you a better pump or more muscle activation then you are wrong! Deadset WRONG!! It’s not true! They don’t! The only exception to this is for bicep curls. Don’t ever use an Olympic bar for barbell curls. In fact, why are you doing curls? Go and squat!!!

OVERCOMPLICATING

People think too much about this training stuff, its bloody simple. Eat lots, train hard and stop being such a pussy & looking for the latest Pro’s Workout and the latest “you beaut” supplement in those tabloid mags! Stop thinking about what protein to take, stop asking people on forums how to gain some muscle but stay lean. AND FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESECAKE stop telling me that you don’t want to get that big. Don’t worry mate, its not gonna happen over night, your not suddenly gonna get 20inch guns and a 400 pound bench. Saying you don’t want to get that big is like saying,  “I want to stay small & weak!” You’re setting yourself up for failure. STOP OVERTHINKING. EDIT that - stop thinking full stop. It’s bad for you. Just shut up and squat and every time you think of a question do another rep and forget it!

ABS

All the thinking and over complicating is partly due to people’s obsession with abs. They want to gain muscle and lose fat. They want a 6-pack and massive arms. EVERY MAN AND HIS DOG HAS A FREEKIN 6 PACK. Go into any schoolyard and you’ll find 10 kids with 6-packs. If you want your 6-pack that bad, stop eating all those Twinkies and eat Clean! If you want to get big and have abs, then that’s fine; but do it properly and admit your gonna have to say bye bye 6 pack for a couple of months and get big first. That’s it, a couple of months.

IMPATIENCE & HARDGAINING - I WANT IT NOW

Training takes time. Going back to the point about consistency. You need to train like a fiend - FOR YEARS not a coupla months!  So put your “hiking boots” on and prepare for the long haul! If you want to do an in & out quick-fix then this caper aint for you AND you’re taking up my squat rack…probably with ur barbell curls! And it’s not just about training consistency. I know people who have been training for years and look the same as the day they started. To make progress you need to eat more more more more and MORE and do it consistently! GET IT! Training makes you smaller, FACT, it breaks you down. EATING and SLEEPING make you bigger. 100% of the people who are hardgainers; ARE NOT. They just don’t try Hard Enuff! Hardgaining is a myth! It means you’re not eating enough or not sleeping enough! Period!!!

EQUIPMENT

For The Life of Brian – Take those Fluffy Gloves OFF!

And stop wearing a belt under your shirt to do bicep curls. If you are sweaty use some chalk. And for all those wanna be’s, a belt is for maximal effort (>90%) squats, deadlifts or presses.